Black Sheep
I really, truly hate writing bad reviews. For one thing, there's less to say in such a case; secondly, enough of you folk frame me as negative already; thirdly, and probably most significantly, they don't really contribute as much as a positive review.
So, if you think you'll enjoy Black Sheep, go and see it. Personally, I couldn't stand it and I never want to see a single frame of the misbegotten thing again as long as I live.
The premise is simple/simplistic: a genetic engineering experiment is supposed to create the perfect sheep - at least from a mercantile perspective. A pair of eco-protestors unwittingly release a mutant sheep from this experimentation (or perhaps it's just a mutant sheep foetus, or maybe even just a slightly melted puppet of Lambchop smeared with KY jelly - I couldn't be entirely sure) and it bites sufficient people and sheep to start a pandemic of zombie-vampire-weresheep. And, that, basically is it - bolt onto this the regulation heroes, villains, comedy relief and utterly predictable structure and you have, basically, the entire film laying bare before you and challenging you not to wipe your boots upon it.
The jokes are really baad (See what I did there? Yep, I ripped off an actual example of the film's terrible, terrible gags and threw it back like a hand grenade with twice-chewed gum inside instead of explosive), the interior logic is nothing of the sort, the mise en scene is, at best, perfunctory and there are enough truly, honestly shameful pieces of bad editing and cinematography that, if I'd made this film, I'd now make like Scorsese and Money and pretend it never happened. In particular, look out for the eyeline-match cuts into impossible POV shots of things that are miles away or behind other things - each one felt like a horseshoe dropping onto my head.
Jonathon King seems to think his film reflects some home truths of New Zealand society, much the way Peter Jackson's Brain Dead did but, really, the reflection is purely incidental and rather muddy: they have sheep in New Zealand, and these sheep play a part in the country's economy - and that's about as deep as it goes.
There's nothing more for me to say other than Black Sheep hits UK cinemas tomorrow, Friday 12th October, and is out on R1 US DVD very soon too. Check out the EweTube and MintyMassacre websites if you suspect you might disagree with my opinion and want to know more about this wretched monstrosity. Still not sure? There's a couple of viral videos designed to hype the film - Snig's End and Petting Zoo - and while they don't look or act like the film and only one contains any footage from the film, they might encourage/discourage you and are, at least, not that long.
