Ingmar Bergman's Big Hard Cock

Ingmar Bergman has died.

Remember all of that nonsense in Fight Club about splicing pensies into films? You know - the bit where most geeks heard the term 'cigarette burn' for the first time and then pretended they'd known the term all along? The film promises us an erect penis, spliced in, as some act of subversion. When the 'flash cut' comes, not only is it obvious and painfully laboured, it's also a limp penis. How appropriate.

But this wouldn't have done for Bergman. Ingmar Bergman spliced an actual erect penis into his film Persona (in the opening, with the bloody lamb, the nail being driven into the hand, the spider...)

That says it all, really: Bergman offers the penis up, unannounced, but part of an incredible sequence; Fincher promises it, then never delivers.

Persona also features one of the best perversions of film time through sound and image I've ever seen/heard and , later, what is surely the most suspenseful series of close ups ever committed to celluloid in the scene with the broken glass.

Go to your copy of Persona now - and if you don't have one, buy one - then freeze frame it on the erection and screen cap it, or take a picture with a camera, and upload it to the web. A 21+ cock salute for one of the masters of cinema. Link your images in the comments here, if you wish.

Goodbye, Ingmar.

Zodiac Director's Cut Coming

This press ad for Zodiac's imminent DVD release has announced a 2008 double dip for the film, next time offering a Director's Cut. Really a Director's Cut? Fincher was forced to fiddle with this first version?

I have no idea what the differences will be but - sheesh - it can't be any longer, can it?

[EDIT: This appears to have first popped up at DavisDVD. Thanks for those of you who sent it to me. They're reporting an audio commentary from Fincher, Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr., James Vanderbilt, Brad Fischer and James Ellroy. Yeah - Ellroy. Go figure. We can also expect 'extensive featurettes' as well as plenty of other business about the real events and murders - which should appeal to fans of all those sleazy 'True Crime' shows]

Fincher Wrestles With Another Cinematographer

After the infamous disagreements on Panic Room that lead to Darius Khondji leaving the project - it seems like Fincher was too stubborn and ignorant to heed his DP's good advice, and it ended up costing him - the director has now wrestled with Harris Savides, the cinematographer of Zodiac.

The American Cinematographer website has the goodies, but here's some key quotes and their translations.

"I was concerned about the amount of non-cinematic information that had to be conveyed onscreen. There was so much exposition, just people talking on the phone or having conversations. It was difficult to imagine how it could be done in a visual way. I told David we had to figure out ways to make these scenes interesting and cinematic, but our solution was the opposite: to simply have faith in the material and present it truthfully"

really means, I think

"This film is a bunch of dull talking heads and Fincher failed to find any suitable cinematic way to tell the story. This script was better suited to radio in the first place."

and when Harris says

"To my eye, the Viper’s digital images have a synthetic quality that is at odds with what we were trying to do. It’s hard to put an audience in a darkened theater and screen ‘reality’ for them, because the whole thing is a falsehood. But if you have a synthetic image like the Viper’s — which reminds me a bit of the vivid, colorful look of a cibachrome photo — you’re taken right out of the story"

and then David says

"Harris initially thought the image looked a little ‘plastic-y,’ but I thought that helped us"

it becomes even more clear that they were at odds. Later, Harris spells his doubts out again

"Nevertheless, after day 30, I was asking myself if we were on the right path! I was worried our approach could result in a boring movie, but we just had to have faith in the script and the dogma we’d designed."

As I understand it, Zodiac really is quite a dull film. I'm curious to see it myself - Fincher has talked up his restrained approach this time, but I spotted the odd flash of baroque nonsense in the trailer.

There's lots more doubting from Savides if you read the entire piece. And bear in mind, he's trying really hard to not sound negative here. Imagine what would pour out if he wasn't trying to promote the film?

MTV Wrong: Halloween Theme Is At The Ready

Rob Zombie has responded to MTV's story that his Halloween rehash would be missing the John Carpenter theme tune. Apparently, he's only shelved his cover version of it, not the actual theme itself.

That's just going to be weird. Whatever next? David Fincher remaking Brazil and keeping only the title song? Brrrrrrrr. Gives me chills thinking about it.

Zodiac Schlock Advertising

It seems that the ghost of William Castle is on the marketing team for Zodiac. Wonder how lovely the film might have been had he dragged himself out of the grave and directed it?

Thanks to Joe 90 for the snap, which - of course - you can click on and enlarge.