Movie Minesweeper - The Retirement Age Edition

I'm getting too old for this. film ick isn't my day job, you know: it costs me money. Sometimes I just don't have the patience. But I never have the choice.

And now I've vented a little, I feel better. I'm listening to The Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas by They Might Be Giants. That should cheer me up a little bit.

- Is Halle Berry the next Barbarella? Probably not. Maybe. I found the link via JoBlo.

- Mark Wahlberg has confirmed Darren Aronofsky's directorship of The Fighter. No start date has been locked, however. Wahlberg said "If it aint like Raging Bull, then it aint worth doing" but I beg to differ. For one thing, we already have Raging Bull. For another thing, Raging Bull is actually rather bad.

- Nicole Kidman is headed to Monte Carlo. The film is to be directed by Tom Bezucha, previously guilty of The Family Stone.

- The site for Derren Brown's US show is now a go. If you don't watch it you're making a mistake. This man is one of the two greatest illusionists since Harry Houdini.
- Paramount have already reaped 1 billion dollars in the US this year.

- I don't need to update you at all on any forthcoming (or not) Spider-Man, Superman, Batman, Harry Potter, Ocean's, Bourne, Hulk, Mummy, Indiana Jones, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Hellboy, National Treasure or Wolf Man films because The Hollywood Reporter have done it for me.

- 'Angry Sherriff' Don Murphy listened to the fans re: Transformers and now the NYTimes have a piece on his approach. If only he'd listen to me about We3 and... er... give me the job of directing it.

- Spielberg has a finger in Aaron Sorkin's pie, lending finance and production muscle to the Broadway incarnation of The Farnsworth Invention with an eye to later turing it into a movie.

- Anywhere Road have snapped up the distibution rights to Brad Gann's Black Irish.

- Cartoon Brew have a wee piece on Barry Purves new Stop Motion book.

- Peter Berg is to produce and direct Gone Like the Wind, a based-on-fact story about the slaughter of a kentucky Derby winner because he'd broken his leg. Euthenasia for wounded sporting animals - discuss. The original Vanity Fair story was written by Berg's cousin Buzz Bissinger, and you can currently read it online.

- 3:10 to Yuma has been brought forward a month. That is, out of prestige season. Because it isn't much good?

- Stellan Skarsgaard is to star in the improbable sounding Patrick 1,5. This one is about a gay couple adopting a kid sight unseen, believing him to be 18 months old but actually, ending up with a fifteen year old homophobe.

- Mama, I'm a Big Girl Now might be on the Hairspray soundtrack CD, but it isn't in the film. On the other hand, The New Girl on Town was nixed from Boradway but it has been used for a montage sequence in the film. Stream the entire soundtrack courtesy of AOL - if you live in the US.

- Sam Rockwell has been talking Star Trek. And so has William Shatner - who seems to think there's a spot for Leonard Nimoy in the script.

- Hannah Montana is headed to the big screen. Miley Cyrus is the next...? Hilary Duff? Lindsay Lohan? Christy Carlson Romano?

- Leonardo DiCaprio as Hugh Hefner? Maybe. Though probably not.

- The Pirates of the Caribbean MMO game has been delayed. All the same, I bet it rolls out in a glitchy version and needs a whole string of patches.

- Richard Kelly is still promising Southland Tales news without actually delivering any. Wake me up when it hits DVD will you?

- Universal have snapped up the rights to Beware the Moon, a documentary on the making of An American Werewolf in London. I hope it's good.

- I heard Ricky Gervais and Chris Rock discussing Badge Buddies during the Live Earth concert but I didn't think for one second it was actually real. They just seemed to be making it up as they went along. What do you think?

- Leonard Hartman is adapting Water for Elephants into a screenplay.

- Season 7 of 24 has gone back to the drawing board.

- The full programme for this year's Fantasy Film Fest has been published. My picks? Paprika, Edmond, I'm a Cyborg But That's Okay, Tales From Earthsea and Bug have all been widely seen elsewhere, so how about The Last Winter, Stuck, Dead Daughters and The Deaths of Ian Stone. The title of the last one there is very amusing to me, but, chances are, you wouldn't find the in-joke at all amusing.

And as we come to close on this Minesweeper, I'm listening to Laughter in the Rain by Neil Sedaka.

Not In My Mouth He Isn't: Gervais Update

Following the Ghost Town news here yesterday, The Hollywood Reporter have followed through with more details.

Greg Kinnear will star alongside Ricky Gervais. David Koepp is to direct and cowrote the script with John Kamps. The lead character - presumably Gervais - is a dentist who "dies briefly during routine surgery and gains the ability to see dead people who ask him for help in contacting the living".

Ghost meets The Frighteners meets The Sixth Sense. But different.

No mention of Harry Knowles anyplace in the article, but then, this doesn't sound like the same Ghost Town after all. This one was only pitched in March 2005... at which point Koepp and Kamps earned a cool $2 million for their 'trouble'.

How many films called Ghost Town have been developed over the years? If you beleive imdb, which I don't, the answer is 'too many'. Hopefully one will be a hit so the title goes off the shelf for a bit.

[EDIT: Harry's zombie western is still moving ahead. Indeed, he's having meetings on it today]

Gervais In Ghost Town

Talking to BBC Radio 1, Ricky Gervais let slip some details of the 'romantic comedy fantasy' I told you about in February.

1) It will film in New York from October of this year.

2) The emphasis is apparently on the comedy rather than the romance (read: the romance is redundant, perhaps a cynical, commercial requirment?)

3) The script is the only one Gervais has been sent in five years that he was happy accepting the lead in (read: he's been sent five years worth of absolute rubbish)

4) Gervais described the film as 'twisted' - but I don't know how many big budget films with twisted scripts wound up so, certainly when there's money involved. Fingers crossed, though. What begins twisted should wind up twisted (no pun intedned).

5) And the single most interesting piece of info? That the film is called Ghost Town.

Now, I assume this is the same Ghost Town that Harry Knowles has been producing for the last lord-knows-how-many years. Let's try and get an announcement out of Aint it Cool... I'm about to send Harry a link to this post right now..

Pegg, Frost, Aardman, Borat, Little Britain And Numberwang: This Year's Comic Relief Line Up

Red Nose Day for 2007 is Friday March 16th. Want to know what's planned for the evening?

A 'special' Mr Bean; and Ant and Dec, but no autopsied aliens; a 'special' installment of Harry Hill's TV Burp; a 'special' Creature Comforts from Aardman; Catherine Tate as Lauren, with a new teacher; Russell Brand and Dennis Waterman star in 'special' Little Britain Live sketches; Dawn French returns for one last 'special' time as The Vicar of Dibley; a 'special' episode of - oh, lord help us all, this is crazy - Numberwang with Carol Vorderman and Jonny Ball as Mitchell and Webb's victims; a 'top secret' treat from Peter Kay (who is, definitively, 'special'); a 'special' appearance from Ricky Gervais as 'never seen before' (maybe they mean he'll say or do something actually funny); Graham Norton and Davina McCall being 'naughty'; a 'special' appearance from Borat; Armando Ianucci grilling celeb guests about the worst moments of Comic Relief in history; more from Little Britain Live with Kate Thornton and Dawn French; Chris Moyles winding up his Rally-oke tour; Mitchell and Webb performing a 'special' version of Lady in Red; more from Aardman, in league with Marc Wootton; Tim Westwood in a 'special' Pimp My Ride; Little Britain Live (again) with Jeremy Edwards, Peter Kay (again) and David Baddiel; and the final wind-down with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

That's BBC1, from 7pm, on Friday March 16th. Superb.

Starring Role For Ricky Gervais In Romantic Comedy Fantasy

Ricky Gervais has announced that he has now chosen - or, perhaps more to the point, been chosen for - his first Hollywood leading role. Talking to the Independent on Sunday he said "It's a romantic comedy fantasy. I can't tell you the title yet because I'm bound to secrecy. But I promise that it's a silly part. I'm not trying to be cool and I won't be bleaching my teeth for it."

Ricky Gervais headlining a romantic comedy? At least he admits it's also a fantasy.

Any speculation on just what the movie might be should go into the comments section below.

Joss Whedon's New Directing Gig

It was just last week that I was defending the American version of The Office in the pub - I bet that doesn't happen every day, at least not in a 'real' pub in England - and now Joss Whedon comes out and confirms he'll be directing an episode.

If you wade through the discussion on the man's message board, you might miss his brief comment: " Yes, people, it's true. I am the ideal mate."

I think the episodes I saw from the second series of The Office: An American Workplace were much, much better than anything in the UK series, and it goes without saying that Steve Carell is a hugely more talented performer than Ricky Gervais. I've yet to see a single frame of the third year's episodes - how are they?

Gervais Attempts To Be Funny, Fails.

Here's something to celebrate the launch week for the Wii here in the UK.

Hot on the heels of his voiceover work in the Scarface: The World Is Yours game, Ricky Gervais displays his ignorance in several gaming matters in an online interview. Be warned - you may be moved to abandon all reason and destroy whichever computer device you are using.